Back to school time

So it's back to school for everyone but us. We start next Monday.

I'm amazed at how many people are so upset over their children starting school. Especially the ones who have had their kids in daycare.

Do you not want your children to grow up? To become educated members of society?

But I especially don't understand the issue with the daycare kids. It's not like they've been with you all day anyways.

I guess in the end I just give Audrey too much credit.

But I know we are counting down to Monday here.

Random travel memories and thoughts

So I was talking with a friend the other day about hiking and beautiful places.

So that got me to thinking.

What are the different places I've been that I think have their own form of beauty?

*Charleston always ranks up there for me. There's just something about the houses and the water and The Battery. I remember being there one time and seeing someone getting married in the gazebo. I love the pineapple fountain. Just the whole waterfront. And then you have the Citadel. I'm sad that one of my best friends has now moved from Mt. Pleasant. It always gave me an excuse to head out there.

*Lake Tahoe. The blues and greens there seem to be from a completely different color palate than we have here. I remember being there in August and there was still snow on the mountain tops. It's a place where a picture is definitely worth a thousand words. I'm not even sure how to describe it. Now the climate there... Fantastic.

*The Dragon Hill Lodge. Where is this? Seoul, South Korea. It's actually located on Yongsan South Post. The hotel itself is pretty. It's a DOD hotel. I just remember... I got in SUPER late thanks to a bird strike throwing our whole trip off. So by the time I got to Seoul I'd missed my flight to Kunsan. So we got to stay at this hotel. (Once we found it. And I definitely learned that Army doesn't have it as good as Air Force.) But when I woke up the next morning it was overcast and drizzly. Out our window was a beautiful garden. So many shades of green. And with the grays and mist and fog it was beautiful. To this day I regret not having pictures of it. (Then again, plans had been for me to come back out. And as we all know, life is what happens while we're busy making plans.)

*Washoe Lake in Carson City. We got to stay at the Ranger's house in the park. So many shades of brown. But in the bathroom of this house there was a window. And you could see out and see the mountains and the lake and it was beautiful. We hiked all the trails around there. At the top of one of the hills there is this older (brown, of course) gazebo. And you can see everything from there. (There's a picture of me somewhere...) I loved hiking there. Deadman's Creek Loop was my favorite.


I know Jason gets a little upset with me when I start talking about all the places I've been. It's nothing personal against him. It was a different life back then. And if he had spoken up, or I had spoken up, when we had the chance, I wouldn't have gone most of the places I did. But now that I've been there, I want to take him. I want to go explore even more places. I want to have places that are ours.

Sunday morning...

It's Sunday morning and I'm getting to be a bit of a bum for a little while longer.

Audrey has her crayons and Wonder Pets. (OH NO! Let's hope they save the sea lion.)
Amelia is down for an early morning nap. (Someone decided to wake up early!)

And I'm hanging out in bed with my new notepad. Pretty cool little device. More of a mobile device than anything. But still pretty neat. It's my birthday present.

Speaking of my fantastic husband. Last night he messages me that he's bringing home a surprise. This can really go either way. (Chinese speaking nanny for the girls? An extra $200 in next week's check? A speeding ticket?) Bulldogand California rolls! (How did he know I'd been wanting sushi?) Then made me Grand Marnier margaritas. I think he's quite a keeper. He's mine. Back off. He's not going anywhere. (And he'll tell you the same thing.)

Accomplishment!!

So this morning I finally accomplished my goal. I poached an egg. Three eggs to be exact.

I kept forgetting to buy the vinegar. Turns out the vinegar helps to keep them more intact and keeps away the "streamers". Still didn't buy the vinegar. And things were just fine.

It wasn't beautiful. And it was still a little runny on the inside. I forgot to set the timer.

The next 2... I forgot to set the timer again and these overcooked a bit.

But that's okay. It was my breakfast.

It was just the coolest thing to watch cook though. I have to admit I was slightly fascinated.

To take a pot of almost boiling water, break an egg into a ladle, pour it into the water, and then watch it take form.

I'm hooked.

And it was so super easy to make. Maybe next time I'll remember to set the timer. And buy juice to drink with it.

Random thoughts

So tonight Jason let me take Audrey out for some "Mommy and Audrey" time.

Just a trip to Sonic. Didn't turn out quite like I'd have liked but that was out of our control.

But in the process, I missed getting to put Amelia down for bed.

I've been the one to put her down since she was born.

I feel like I'm missing something tonight. Something's not right.

Not that I'm going to go wake her up so I can be the one to put her in her crib.

Jason is so sweet with her. And with Audrey.

I always say that I was definitely meant to have girls.

I'm starting to think Jason was too.

Deep thoughts for the night

I really need to take a minute and brag a bit more on my Jason.

We may not always see eye to eye, our opinions may differ quite a bit on more than a few things, we may go at each other's throats on some things at times, some days it seems that all we do is argue, and I know I drive him up the wall.

But at the end of the day, we're the ones for each other, I know he loves me more than anything and I feel the same about him.

I may not always tell him, but I appreciate him busting his butt for everything he provides.

We may not have a house, an expensive apartment, new cars, the latest fashions. But we have our family.

We watched "Leap Year" last night. Declan asked Anne what she would save if her house was on fire and she had 60 seconds to get out of the house. Easy. Grab Jason, the girls, and the diaper bag. (Let's face it. Amelia wouldn't understand no bottles, food, or diapers. So the diaper bag is an attachment of her.)

(That reminds me. I need a fire box for pictures and documents...)

How many people can really say that about their spouse or significant other?

That no matter how rough it gets, if all you have is each other, nothing else really matters.

I'll be 30 in 21 days. Been married 3 times now. Have 2 kids. Moved a million times.

And I finally understand.

What a guy!

So not only has Jason:
started eating Mexican food with me
ate crawfish in Louisiana





takes me to eat sushi





buys me flowers just because

But now:
he's bought me beautiful jewelry
bought me bags


And now...
bought me a wallet that matches my new bags.

And even went out last night after he was ready to go to bed and bought me a Coke.

This weekend...

So this weekend is the last weekend in the month before the month that I turn 30.

Not that I'm really freaked out about turning 30 or anything.

It's more of I'm irritated with myself on all the things I wanted to do in my life, should have done before now, and things along those lines.

I'll be 30. That's a pretty big milestone.

I should have accomplished so much by now.

So this weekend I'm going to celebrate myself and accomplish something I never really knew I wanted to accomplish...


I'm going to learn to poach eggs and make Hollandaise sauce.

I had poached eggs for the first time last weekend. And now I can't stop craving them.

I'm still not sure how I've made it this far without having poached eggs.

I've had Hollandaise sauce before. Mmmm.... Tasty.

And I even found out that my mother has never had a poached egg.

So this must be accomplished.

Working on Audrey's party idea

I'm thinking that to do everything Jason and I both want, we're just going to have to have 2 parties.

One for friends and family.

One for her school friends.

I would absolutely love to do her an Olivia party. Looking online for her a backpack I came across so many cute ideas. That would be the one for friends and family.

And Jason is determined to stick with the pirate party idea. So I'm thinking we can do that for her school friends. Cupcakes, playground at the park, party favors, have everyone dress like a pirate. Easy, simple.

I just have so many cute ideas for each party. We're just going to have to do both. And fortunately, I should be able to do both for the price of one big party.

Getting ready for school

I cannot believe Audrey starts preschool in less than a month.

I've spent the last week shopping for school clothes and school supplies.

I thought we were set on a backpack. Now she's seen an Olivia lunchbox and wants a matching Olivia backpack. Help!!

Fortunately Target has had tons of clothes on clearance. She's set! And it's been cute stuff too. You can't beat Cherokee shorts and t-shirts for under $2.

I went to Target today to look at her some tennis shoes. I'm not sure if our Target just stinks or what. The shoes that were supposed to be on sale didn't exist. And the 1 pair they did have, had velcro. Nope. Not buying the kid velcro shoes. Especially not when she's learning to tie them. (My rant on velcro. Those are good for kids who are still learning to put their shoes on. Once they can do that, or are in school, get them laces. And lace-up shoes are usually better quality and cheaper.)

I just got the email on tuition. It's due August 5th. It'll be nice to go to a monthly bill. But yuck. Not looking forward to having to come up with $205 by next Thursday. (Time to sell some Pure Romance! Anyone need to order anything??)

Packing up, selling off, tossing out

I never realized how much crap we've accumulated until I've started trying to empty this place out. It doesn't seem like I've gotten anything done. But I swear this stuff is multiplying as I go.

Where did all these clothes come from?

Did we even remember having this stuff?

Why did we hold on to so many of these things?

I just hope it gets easier as more stuff makes it's way out the door.


I swear I could outfit at least 3 size 4 girls properly for winter. So much of this stuff is practically brand new. I vaguely remember going on shopping sprees January and February 2009. For some reason I thought spending god awful amounts of money at Old Navy would make my problems go away. And now all of this stuff needs to go away. And all these clothes will be marked next to nothing. ...sigh...

I've already managed to fill a laundry basket full of Jason's clothes. And you can't even tell. Not that I want to change him, just that most of these clothes aren't him. But I guess it's also that if I'm the one looking at him, I want to be the one deciding what he wears.

I'm dreading the most going through the kitchen stuff. We went through boxes not that long ago and found stuff that was still in the packaging that had never been used. That's not counting the boxes of stuff we gave away in LA. Such a waste really. But hopefully by starting fresh we'll start cooking more often again.


I've got to do something about all the distractions though. I could get so much more done without them.

Finally

Almost 3 years to the day.

And the wedding picture CD was found again and unceremoniously microwaved. And thrown into the bathroom trash can. Funny though. The edge started to brown. Like it had thought about catching on fire.

Thank you Jason. It really does make me feel much better. And even better that you did this on your own.

And happy 3 years.



This leads into something else that's been on my mind lately. But that's something for another day. I'm just going to leave this entry as a big thank you for Jason.

Happy Freakin' Monday

I hate Mondays.

I hate Mondays.

I hate Mondays.


And I don't even go off to work.

So after over an hour of trying to make a doctor's appointment, talking to the insurance company, calling more doctors, calling the insurance company...

Our PCP that we chose off Kaiser's website DOESN'T TAKE KAISER. I thought my head was going to explode.
Doctor #2 is only able to accept a certain number of patients with this insurance. Thanks a freakin lot Obama.
Doctor #3 is a freakin' pediatrician. But not listed under pediatricians.
Doctor #4 had a disconnected number.
Doctor #5 can't get Jason in until Wednesday. But at least he has an appointment.

BCBS isn't covering some of my prenatal bills.

Kaiser... We were told we had a $500 deductible for this. That the coinsurance wouldn't come into play. WRONG! Whew. Amelia's expensive.

Everyone I know who has had Kaiser has loved them. BUT they've been able to use the Kaiser centers. This is a headache.

I'm hoping BCBS is an option next year.


And now this storm came up. With a quickness. So much for taking Audrey to get sushi. Or as she says it, shu-shi. Hopefully it will clear up and we can go in a bit. I'm not getting the girls out in this mess.

Looking out the window it really looks like a black and white picture. Like all of the color has been taken out of the world.

I swear I'm ready to throw my BlackBerry out the window. BlackBerry is supposed to be such a great device. This one sucks. My GPS stays lost. Pictures won't upload to Facebook. Pictures won't email half the time. It's so S-L-O-W. It can't seem to hold a signal. Sprint did a hard reset on it Friday. Told me it would be like a brand new phone. Yep. Just like it was when I got it. And just like it was when I took it in on Friday. But at least when I was at Sprint on Friday, John Isner was in there with BlackBerry issues as well. For some reason, that makes me feel better. Especially since he had a more expensive one and was having similar issues. Fortunately, Jason is letting me have his upgrade this fall. HTC Evo!! Heck yeah.

I really should be up cleaning. If we're going to do this yard sale, I still have so many rooms to go through. Good bye past life. I'm selling off all of Jason's old stuff. I'm selling off as much of my old stuff as Audrey will let me get rid of. Or that I can part with due to Audrey. It's different for me than for Jason. Having custody of Audrey, there are a few things I'd like to hold on to for her. But I'm going to try to limit it to a paper box size box that can be easily packed away.

Redecorating

We need a change around here. So what does that mean?? Time to redecorate!!

I have had so much fun playing on the Ikea website.

I know I won't get to have my whole house done in Ikea. But it's so much fun to look. And they have online planners/designers.

And even though Jason and I tend to have similar interests... I doubt I could convince him of the looks I want. Such is life.

My to-read List

This is a never-ending work in progress...


The Secret Life of Josephine: Carolly Erickson

Red River: Lalita Tademy

The Lady Elizabeth: Alison Weir

Sun Going Down: Jack Todd

Sand Daughter: Sarah Bryant

Just because I can...

I am the Mrs. Shelton even if I choose to have my name hyphenated. Maybe one day I'll un-hyphenate myself. Until then, it's my business.

I am the wife. Get over it. You have no say in the matter.

Yes, we got what we wanted. And it's quite nice.

And randomly...

Minivans are horrible things to drive. Ugh. Give me a truck, SUV, or sporty car any day.

Whoever told you that looked nice lied.

And once again...

Just in case everyone forgot...

I WIN!!!

Happy 4th of July Weekend

Once I can get things ready around here, the girls and I are going to try to head down to Loganville. Robin's. Jason is missing out once again. But as he tells me daily, he has to take care of his 3 girls.

Tomorrow is still up in the air. I'd love to take Audrey to go see fireworks. Maybe we'll head back to Bishop Park. That was fun last year.

Craziness. Yesterday last year I found out for sure I was pregnant with Amelia. A year ago today, I told Jason. And now little miss stinker is playing in her swing.

It doesn't matter where you live, what you live in, what you drive, what you wear. All that matters is that you're with the one you love who loves you back. And having 2 super cute little girls doesn't hurt.

Life is good.

Today Was A Fairytale

In a few weeks, we'll be 3 years. Yeah, like you're perfect.

Today Was A Fairytale by Taylor Swift

Today was a fairy tale
You were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand
And you picked me up at six
Today was a fairy tale
Today was a fairy tale

Today was a fairy tale
I wore a dress
You wore a dark gray t-shirt
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess
Today was a fairy tale
Time slows down
Whenever you're around

Can you feel this Magic in the air?
It must've been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standin' there
It must've been the way
Today was a fairy tale
It must've been the way
Today was a fairy tale

Today was a fairy tale
You've got a smile
That takes me to another planet
Every move you make
Every thing you say is right
Today was a fairy tale

Today was a fairy tale
All that I could say is now it's getting so much clearer
Nothing made sense til the time I saw your face
Today was a fairy tale
Time slows down
Whenever you're around-Yeah

Can you feel this magic in the air?
It must've been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standin' there
It must've been the way
Today was a fairy tale
It must've been the way
Today was a fairy tale

Time slows down
Whenever you're around
I can feel my heart
It's beating in my chest
Did you feel it
I can't put this down

Can you feel this magic in the air?
It must've been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standin' there
It must've been the way

Can you feel this magic in the air?
It must've been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standin' there
It must've been the way
Today was a fairy tale
It must've been the way
Today was a fairy tale

Oh Oh Ooh Yeah oh
Today was a fairy tale

Overweight? Your Child May Be Too

Overweight? Your Child May Be Too

Last day of June...

Where is the summer going so fast??

I can't believe that Audrey starts pre-school in about a month and a half. Unreal.

It wasn't a billion degrees out there today so I took the girls to the park. The baby bears, Athena and Yonah, are absolutely adorable. A definite must-see. And hopefully next time I'll remember fresh batteries for the camera.

I've done all the laundry from vacation. But have yet to start cleaning out the car.

We're still planning on a huge yard sale before the summer is up. Yippee. I'm actually a little excited. I'm going through all those boxes in the dining room. All our kitchen stuff (except for some of our coffee mugs, our blue dishes, and 2 pots), glassware, tons of clothes (time to clean out everyone's closets), toys, books... We're doing some major downsizing and starting fresh. Yes, I already have my new kitchen stuff picked out.

I found out I'm getting a new phone this fall. Seems Jason is not pleased with my BlackBerry. HTC Evo here I come! The fact that he's giving up his upgrade so I can get something better than what he has is so incredibly sweet.

But, on a closing note.

Half the year has already gone. Let's hope that this second half will have far less bullshit, pettiness, and bitterness. And it will have much less of me going out of my way when I definitely don't have to. Yes, we got what we wanted. We're happy. And life is good. Sorry you realized everything too late. Well, not really. You don't like it? Get over it. While you're at it, stop complaining and whining. It gets back to us. And we make fun of you. (Notice I didn't name names. So if you're still stalking and read this, then it may... or may not... be aimed at you. It may seem like a cheap shot. But grow up before I start making reports because you can't follow simple requests.)

Vacation 2010

I'll update this more (or make a new post) when I have a little more time.

_____

Wow. So we made it a week on vacation without a major crisis. But what a trip.

We left Sunday night around 11:30. Craziness. We pulled off in Villa Rica to get about an hour's nap.

We made it to the hotel around 1:30-ish. I think. We were all in a haze.

The kids did so good on the drive out. It really helped leaving when we did and driving overnight. That was when they were asleep anyways. And leaving when we did, we were able to take breaks and make stops without being on a time crunch.

We had Southfield for dinner and Pop's for snow cones. I was too tired to remember much else.

It was hot, but I swear Georgia is worse.

Tuesday we had Strawn's. And finished off breakfast with their peach pie. YUM! We stopped by to see the ladies at the pregnancy center. Who all had a fit over Audrey and Amelia. Then it was off to the storage unit. That was so not fun. But we loaded up what I wanted, sent a fully packed car off to Goodwill, and jam packed the car of a girl who works there with kitchen stuff. After Jason was nice enough to UPS Justin a huge box of stuff (the people at UPS were telling him he was definitely the bigger man--and Jason informed them I was going to toss it), we went back and crashed for a bit. We wrapped up the day with a visit to Sue's. She's so great. She made a HUGE bowl of kettle corn.

Wednesday afternoon we headed out to Gerald's for lunch. And Jason ate a crawfish po boy. Inhaled. Devoured. We went to Hobby Lobby so I could see my old buddies Anita and Debbie. ...sigh... I miss working with them. Audrey got a huge coloring pad and Jason got a Star Wars model (that Audrey has now claimed). Dinner was Shane's Acadiana. Yum yum yum. Pistolette, meat pie, etouffe. Then it was off to the Boardwalk. By the time we got there it was so late that all the shops were closing. So we just took a bunch of pictures.

Thursday. It was so sad. Our vacation was ending. And we were trying to figure out how to stretch it out. We had lunch at Monjuni's. 1/4 muffaletta and salad with bread pudding for dessert. And Jason got more crawfish. Then it was back to the Boardwalk. 2 rides on the carousel, a ride on the trolley, shopping at Carter's, and lots of pictures. I have no idea what happened Thursday night other than eating at Whataburger.

Friday was check-out day. So we loaded up the van and headed to the Boardwalk one last time. Another carousel ride, a little more shopping, and lots more pictures. Then we loaded back up and headed east to Vicksburg. I found us a decent hotel for the night. We did find out what's wrong with the van on the way there. Stupid thermostat. Thank goodness for Jason. It'll be a cheap and easy fix. But we made it to Vicksburg and went on a river tour. Pretty neat. Audrey got to drive the boat. I almost got sea sick. But we ended up eating some pretty good BBQ.

I swear we did nothing but drive on Saturday. And this drive was not as pleasant. We drove during the day while the kids were awake. Not fun. We pulled into the parking lot a little before 11:30 pm.

I have all kinds of pictures on Facebook.

Just wondering

So for the past 2 weeks or so, I've had the same song stuck in my head. And I can't help but wonder. Is it that I just really like this song? Or should I think deeper into it?

Comfortably Numb

Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Come on, now,
I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again.
Relax.
I'll need some information first.
Just the basic facts.
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain you would not understand
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

O.K.
Just a little pinprick.
There'll be no more aaaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working, good.
That'll keep you going through the show
Come on it's time to go.

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown,
The dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.


**********

I can say that for the first time in my life I have no doubts that I'm where I need to be.

I'm happily married and can truly say that the person married to me is happy to be with me.

No matter how bad my past sucks, if it hadn't happened I wouldn't have my husband or my daughters.

My Bucket List

What are some things I want to do before I die...?


Take my girls to see Phantom. On Broadway.

Stand on the beach in Jamaica with Jason.

Go to Italy.

Own a really expensive camera for no other reason than to take really good pictures of the kids.

Get a degree, certification, an official piece of paper that says I'm qualified to do something (other than my military stuff).

Go money-isn't-an-issue shopping at Tiffany's in New York.

Learn to sew.


It's a work in progress.

So I watched Dr. Phil today

And I'm sure this post will get me in trouble with Jason. But what do you guys think about all this?

(AND FOR THE RECORD, I AM ORDERING THE BOOK.)

http://www.noonesthebitch.com/guest-post-by-wednesday-martin-what-your-child%E2%80%99s-stepmother-wants-you-to-know-about-her-life%E2%80%A6/

By Wednesday Martin: What Your Child's Stepmother Wants You To Know About Her Life

It’s not easy to feel judged and misunderstood
You likely feel, especially if you’re unpartnered, that the deck is stacked against you, that it’s me and your ex against you. From my perspective, I’m perceived as a wicked stepmother and a homewrecker even when I’m not, no matter how hard I try and how nice I am. Being the fall guy when I’m trying so hard takes a toll on me. And while you might feel shut out, I wrestle with the knowledge that I’m not and never will be “first.” We’re both struggling, you and I.


Your child isn’t perfect
Do you find yourself thinking of me as a rigid control freak? Too harsh or strict toward your kids? If that’s the case, ask yourself what role you and your ex may play here by being permissive, indulgent parents post-divorce. I might have to tow the line in my home because you two are afraid to, or can’t be bothered, or feel too guilty to parent effectively, since you “put the kids through a divorce.”

Have you told your kids it’s okay to like me, let them know it’s imperative to at least be civil and polite to me? Or do you secretly like that they don’t like their stepmom, that they’re disrespectful and rude, even hostile, toward me? Does that arrangement make you feel better, more secure?

What am I up against here that’s any harder than what you’re up against? you’re wondering. For starters, kids of any age resent getting a stepmom way more than they resent getting a stepdad. For a long time, too. And while plenty of kids of divorce do just fine, they are twice as likely to have serious emotional and social problems as kids from intact homes. Remember that when it comes to adolescence, I don’t have the foundation you and your husband do to tolerate all the drama, sullenness, and more. At some point, if your kids are rude to me and I am rebuffed enough, I may withdraw to preserve my dignity. Think about that next time you’re about to tell a friend that I’m “cold” to your kids.


I don’t want to be friends with you, do holidays together, or vacation together
And I’m a little tired of all the pressure I’m feeling from people who haven’t a clue that I “should” want to do, and be doing, just that. We can have a parenting coalition that works. I welcome that, and I welcome civility and friendliness. But if I’m like most women with stepkids, it just doesn’t feel appropriate to me to be close to you. My loyalty is to my husband. I want to get stepmothering right for his sake. Beyond that, I don’t want to feel pressured to be pals with you. I already have pals. So please don’t take offense that I’d like us to be friendly enough, but not necessarily friends.


I don’t love your kids just like my own, just like they don’t love me like they love you!
There’s way too much pressure on women with stepkids to “draw no distinctions” between their own kids and their stepkids. And it flies in the face not only of research findings about what stepfamily “success” actually is, but common sense as well. I might really like your kids, love them even and come to feel extremely close to them one day. But I might not. Can you blame me, given all the stepmother hatred out there, and given the very real fact of kids resenting getting a stepmother? There’s a whole range of “normal” here, a whole spectrum of stepmother involvement. They have you and their dad. So please, don’t expect me to “love them just as if they’re my own” while also expecting me to follow the sacred directive, “Don’t ever try to replace their mom.” Especially if I have my own kids, as likeable and great as your kids are, they’re not mine, I’m not theirs, and it’s okay for me to just be a supportive ally.


I’m not your husband’s “new wife.” I’m his wife. You’re his ex-wife.
It’s that simple. When you ask him to do chores, come over for dinner or do holidays at your place “for the kids’ sake,” you’re being disrespectful of our partnership. Yes, you are. Please respect my marriage and have healthy boundaries. This includes not putting your ex in-laws in a loyalty bind or using the kids as leverage (“You won’t see your grandkids if you spend time over there with your son and his new wife”).


I promise to play nice if you do.
Most women with stepkids really want to get it right, and try very hard in the face of significant challenges. Getting along would be the best outcome for everyone. I know that, and so do you.

It’s a start….

**********

Now. For the record. I am also a biological mother who has given Jason a stepdaughter. I can't really say I agree with some (well, most) of the stuff the mother is apparently supposed to feel, think, and all of that.

On that point:
As for her father, I hope one day he can settle down, grow up, and be happy.

*Do I care if Audrey has a stepmother? No. And depending on how she is, I'd probably actually let Audrey go to stay with her father. Maybe...

*Do I hope that her stepmother would make sure she has all the basic necessities (clothes that fit and are seasonally appropriate, healthy food, a safe and comfortable place to sleep)? Absolutely. I take on that responsibility with my stepchild. It's common sense.

*Do I want to be friends or even really sociable with this stepmother? No. I have no desire to be friends with my exhusband. We're only connected through Audrey.

*Would I want her to make sure Audrey obeys her? Absolutely. It's a reflection on me when my child misbehaves while not at home.

*Is it okay for her to discipline her? To an extent. (Take away privileges and toys. Make her stand in the corner. Give her extra chores. Spankings? No.)

*Is it my place to make sure Audrey knows she has to obey her? Absolutely. As a parent, it's my responsibility to raise my child to know that she needs to obey and respect the adults in charge of her. She doesn't have to love anyone. But she does need to know there are rules.

*Is it my place to make sure Audrey knows she may have a different set of rules at her house? Sure. Not everyone has the same rules as we have here. I may be the strict parent. Or she may be even more OCD. Either way. Everyone has different rules.

*Do I think this stepmother needs to try to take my place as mother while Audrey is around? No. But as her father's wife, there is a position there that she does fill. And I expect Audrey to respect her as such. If this woman decided to help out in Audrey's classroom, be at school plays, recitals, whatever... Good job. I'd probably have a little respect for her father for having sense to marry someone like that. I'm her mother and she knows that. No matter what my last name is.

*Do I miss being part of a family with her and her father? HELL NO. My life is a million times better. I think Audrey has a better life with us being divorced. Now that he seems to have gotten over the fact that we're divorced and it's final and life moves on.

*Is there any baggage there? Nope. Except for the child support issues, insurance issues, things like that. Emotions were gone years ago. Emotions were out of the picture long before I filed the divorce papers.

**********

But going back up to the first part, do not ever call me or Jason a homewrecker. If you feel that way, ask Jason about his views on it as well. Things were over in both of our marriages long before we moved on. Calling someone a homewrecker is ignorant. People don't leave marriages if they're happy to be there. It takes two people being happy to have a happy marriage and a happy home. Otherwise, you're married and live together. I won't take the blame for a Jason's divorce. I won't let anyone blame Jason for mine.

Stupid people

So it seems I've offended some people lately.

Get over it.

I have the right to make it to where there can be no more anonymous comments on my blog. It is my blog. If you don't want everyone to know what you have to say, chances are it's not nice. You can always call me, text me, or email me. Then again, if you do that, we can't make fun of you for making an "anonymous" ass out of yourself.

I have the right to delete and block people on my Facebook. It's my Facebook. Maybe I don't want you seeing my pictures? Maybe I want to limit your access to my children? Maybe I don't want to be friends with you? Maybe I don't want you in my business? Maybe I just flat out don't like you? Just because you know my husband doesn't mean I want anything to do with you. Just because we're somehow related doesn't mean I claim you as family. Just because we went to school together doesn't mean we're friends. (You were hateful to me then and made my life miserable and you're still the same miserable, ignorant, horrible person now. Sure, I'm friends with some other people who made my life hell. But they've grown up, apologized, and we've become friends.)

If I offend you so much and you don't like me and I don't like you, then why should any of this bother you? Just go away.

Make things better for all of us and go away. Far away would be better.

Stop thinking of just yourself and take care of your own child. I have 2 1/2 that I manage to take care of, clothe properly and nicely, and feed. What's your excuse? Ever thought that maybe some of your actions got you into your situation?

You're really going to sit there and make fun of me because I'm 5 lbs heavier than I was before I had Amelia? Have you looked in the mirror lately? Put the fork down. Step away from the cheeseburger. Consider the amount of crap and junk you eat. After so many years you really can't blame it on baby weight. After not even 4 months, I can blame that 5 lbs on baby weight. What's your excuse?


So if you have anything to say to me: melissabshelton@gmail.com, 770-733-4661, melissabshelton@sprint.blackberry.net.

Saturday...

So someone made a stupid comment to me about being Jason's second wife. And your point? At the end of the day, I'm *the* wife. I'm his emergency contact, beneficiary, all that good stuff. It doesn't matter. I could be his 3rd or 4th or 10th wife. I'm still the wife. Ex-wives really don't matter. And the overly stupid thing, is this person didn't even know he was married before me. Almost all of the people we deal with on a daily basis know of only me. Do people really have that little to do these days?


I have found a preschool to send Audrey to this fall. $285 a month. Monday through Friday 9-12. Monday through Thursday, 12-1. It is a church preschool. I'm not a religious person. But I do think she needs some sort of religious teaching. My beliefs are a story for another day. And I do think that I can teach Audrey and expose her to more things than a preschool can. But I need a break for a few hours a day. It's not a long enough time frame for me to find a job, but I need my sanity. And maybe it'll refresh me enough to where I can have the energy to get back into having the heart in teaching her. I mean, from 1 until bedtime that still gives us lots of time for adventures.


I'm pretty upset. All I have left of my garden: Morning glories, beans, squash, 1 of my types of marigolds, and 2 other types that I can't think of right now. Stupid squirrel and birds. But the morning glories are going crazy on the balcony. I do hope they bloom.


A week from tomorrow we'll be packing up to head out. I'm making list after list after list. And I know we're going to forget something important.


We've managed to move up from a full size bed to a California King. Oh. My. God. I haven't slept so great in years. Even though Jason says there's too much room in the bed and that it's harder for him to get as close to me (cause we have SO much room to spread out and still not bump into each other), I know he's enjoying sleeping in a huge bed too. And nice new microfiber sheets and a cute new quilt. (I am sad to have to pack up the pretty comforter I bought right after we moved in.) Oh no. What are we going to do on vacation? I think the hotel has queen size beds.


I officially hate the Statham/Winder area. Driving down to Rickey and Donnie's yesterday down 29. Something comes out of nowhere and hits my windshield. No one was cutting grass and the only other car on the road was a Cavalier. And it was a good bit ahead of us. By the time we got from right past 211 into their driveway it had cracked to about 6 inches and was headed back up. Fortunately I'm married to a super handy fixer guy. 3 window repair kits later... It seems to be fixed for now. I guess I'll see how it looks now that it's been hot, rained, cooled off a bit, and is now getting hot again. As long as it holds up to Louisiana...


I have had random songs stuck in my head lately. Ah... The soundtrack of my life... That's something to sit down and figure out.


Got to love Jason. Seems we're having Mexican for dinner. His suggestion. For him to have come into this relationship hating Mexican and most seafood, he's doing pretty good these days with that being what he wants. Now. Can I get him to eat crawfish??? I got him to eat sushi...


But right now both girls are asleep so we'll let them sleep. Gives him a chance to rest from work and me to get cleaned up a bit.

Packing list

So I'm trying to figure out everything I need to pack for vacation.

All the clothes need to fit into 1 bag.

A small bag for bathroom stuff.

I figure diapers and formula won't be coming back with us. And I have individual packs of formula for the trip anyways.

I'll need a bag for bottles, detergent, bottle brush, and formula.

A bag for diapers and wipes.

Amelia's pack and play and Bumbo and stroller

A bag for Amelia's sheets and blankets.

A small bag for toys and things to entertain on the drive.

We're borrowing Mom's cooler cause I know it fits between the front seats and the second row.

Juice boxes, juice, bottled water, fruit, peanut butter, jelly, bread, snacks.

Laptop, cameras, card reader, battery chargers.

We're going to get out there and I'll have forgotten something important.

Summertime!

It's summer. And that means it's time to shop!!

New swimsuits for everyone! Cute bikinis for me and the girls, nice shorts for Jason.

New summer toys!

New shorts and tank tops!

New flip flops!

New polish for my toes! Maybe a bright sparkly pink.


Time to start packing for vacation!

Blah

Now that it's hitting me how fast time is flying, I'm really starting to hit the blahs. This sucks. How is it already June? How is Audrey almost 4? How is Amelia almost 4 months? How am I going to be 30 this August?

And it's starting to get on my last nerves that people are telling me how I should feel about turning 30. Yes, I have gray hair. Yes, I have a minivan. Yes, I weigh more than I did in high school.

BIG FREAKIN DEAL.

I have gray hair. So I dye it. I like having the option to dye my hair anyways. I get bored with dark brown hair.

I have a minivan. That will be remedied soon enough. I never knew a car could have such an emotional impact on someone. Should have never bought it, so I'm selling it. Cause I can.

I weigh more than I did when I was younger. Big deal. I was also too thin. I still am considered underweight. Except now I weigh 130 and am considered underweight. At least I can still wear a bikini. After having 2 kids.

But as far as turning 30. Who cares? Isn't your 30's supposed to be the new 20's anyways? Sure, there's stuff in my life I wish I'd accomplished. But it's not like I can go back and change any of that. So it's time to move forward and make new lists.

Maybe that's what I'll work on this weekend.

Everyone needs a bucket list...

Party Planning... Already

Audrey:

Audrey has already decided that she is having a Princess Pirate Party. What are we going to do?

The guest list will be highly limited. Sorry if this offends anyone. Well, not really. Suck it up and deal with it if you're offended that you don't get invited. Chances are, there's a reason.

I'm thinking girls come as princesses or pirates and boys can come as knights or pirates. Treasure chest favor boxes. Cupcakes instead of a cake. 1/4 princess, 1/4 girl pirate, 1/4 knight/prince, 1/4 boy pirate. Maybe a scavenger hunt. I don't know. I've got a lot to think about. And only about 3 months to have everything close to finalized.

(Why couldn't she want a tea party?)

But we're looking at either October 2 or 3 for her party.


Amelia:
First birthday. Wow. Can't really say I'm overly looking forward to it though. Means we're going to be obligated to invite way too many people. And I can't say that I want to deal with them. I wonder if I can get away with making a super small guest list again. Amelia won't care. She'll be 1!!

But I'm not sure what direction I want to go.

Ladybugs? Yellow rubber ducks?

Her birthday is 4 days after Valentine's Day so red, pink, and white will be in excess...

I'm thinking February 19 for her party.


I need to get on this!!! Thank god for internet.

The time is flying past me!

It's already June. Holy crap. Where has my year gone?

I can't believe Amelia will be 4 months in a few weeks. She's growing like crazy. It seems like I cry every time I do her laundry. Another cute outfit outgrown. I will never understand baby sizes. We're in 6 month Carter's sunsuits, 3-6 month Gerber onesies, and mostly 0-3 sleepers of all brands. I feel like I'm constantly having to exchange never been worn outfits for bigger sizes. But she's doing so good. She's holding her head up, pushing up on her hands, rolling over, sitting up in her Bumbo, bouncing in her Johnny Jump Up. We should be getting ready to start her on cereal soon. And I think we're starting teethe. Drool is everywhere. Everything goes straight to her mouth. And when the crankiness starts, Orajel calms her down. My baby's growing up!

Audrey. Silly Audrey. I never know what to say about her. You just have to see her to understand. I guess it's kind of my fault for raising her around so many grown-ups. I feel a little guilty that I have to spend so much one-on-one time with Amelia that she gets a little left out sometimes. But I try to explain to her that she's my big girl so she gets to do things with me that Amelia doesn't. (Shopping, sharing my french fries, watching tv...)

Jason and I had our anniversary last month. Mother's Day weekend. Well I screwed myself on that date! Do you get me 2 presents-Anniversary and Mother's Day? Or do you get me 1 present for both? He's going to have to figure that one out! But he did so good. He went to work and Amelia and I went shopping. When he got off work, we went out to dinner. Sushi. And he got me a beautiful necklace. It was a drop-style necklace. 3 little diamonds (one for each kid) leading down to 2 hearts with diamonds. Really pretty. Pictures are on my Facebook. Impressive for someone who doesn't buy jewelry.

We thought we might get to move sometime soon. He had some friends trying to buy an apartment complex. We would have moved over there and taken over maintenance. But the bidding went too high too fast. So we're staying here. Happy that I don't have to move, but... I was looking forward to a change of scenery. I'm really not used to living in one place too long. Even if it's just a move across town.

We're getting ready for our trip to Louisiana this month. Leaving Father's Day night. I'm ready to go. Makes me a little sad though. I miss my friends out there. But we've been working on a list of where to go, what to eat.
Monjuni's on Louisiana Ave.
Strawn's Eat Shop across from Centenary
Shane's Acadiana on Youree
Southfield Grill on Youree
Gerald's on Kings Hwy.
Bodacious BBQ on Barksdale Blvd.
Texas Roadhouse on Gould
Laysone's in Natchitoches
Eat turtles at the Boardwalk
Go to the alligator park

So I've started gardening. Of sorts. Jason made me some cedar boxes that I've planted in. And I have some plastic tubs with stuff in. My Fuchsias in my hanging boxes are getting eaten by something even though I've Sevin dusted them. The birds and that stupid squirrel have been digging and stepping on some stuff. But I will have to say that my squash, beans, and morning glories are doing fantastic. Jason's mom had given him some gardening books a long time ago. So I've been pouring over those to get some hints and ideas. I do think we're going to start a carnivorous garden as well. I'm so sick of bugs. Maybe those would help. I go through mosquito coils and Body Dew like crazy when I work out there.

We're starting to look for me a new car. The minivan has to go. Not that anything is wrong with it. It's just a minivan. And I'm so not a minivan person. If I could find another Explorer Sport like I had, I'd snatch it up in an instant. 4 seats is all I really need. (If we have more kids it will have to be when Audrey starts school and that's a few years away.) I refuse to go back to a car though. I felt so unsafe when I had the Focus and the Galant. (Even though I did like the Galant.) Plans are kind of that I would sell the minivan, take over the Trooper, Jason would drive the Camry, and then after we get our tax return we would buy me a new car. Having a plan for February gives us a goal and a countdown to saving money. (Once we get this vacation out of the way.)

I've always laughed at people who do this. But it makes sense. We've got a 5 gallon water jug. And we've started emptying our pockets into it every time we walk past it. Singles and coins mostly. We counted it the other night. After only about a month of doing that, we're into 3 digits. Pretty impressive. And my bag is much lighter now. But for now that's our vacation fund. Soon it'll be my car fund. Or whatever else we deem it. Maybe we can use it to start saving up for another vacation...

I will be so ready to get back from Louisiana. Yard sale time!! It's been made official. We're downsizing. Almost all of our kitchen stuff is going. (We'll replace it with one nice set of everything.) Random pieces of furniture will be going. I will also be cleaning out the closets. Time to get rid of some clothes. Let's face it. Those pants won't fit again. Audrey has more toys than we know what to do with. Some are brand new, still in the packaging, taking up room in the closets. As much as I love my books, there are more than a few that I've read as many times as I'll ever read them. Time to clean house!

Pure Romance is picking back up. I'm still not really able to do parties. But the orders are starting to come back in again. And that's always a good thing. Right now I'm just trying to clear out the inventory I have so I can start over fresh. So many new things are coming out and I want them. But I don't have room for them. So it's out with the old and in with the new. (So if anyone wants anything, let me know!) And I know Jason would appreciate me clearing out that corner of boxes.

And now I need to go. My Audrey is doing jumping jacks in the middle of the living room. No jumping, running, or yelling in the house. I see some quality corner time in her future...

My latest hobby... of sorts...

I got bored one day and bought 8 packs of flower seeds. Cosmos, Zinnias, Bachelor Buttons, Forget Me Nots, Morning Glory, Asters, Sweet Williams, and wildflowers. I put of planting them as long as I could. I finally broke down and bought some potting soil. I figured the seeds and the soil were enough of an investment. So we planted them in red Dixie cups. (How freakin' redneck!!) But I planted them. And have watered them. And they're growing!!! They're ready to be transplanted. My impatiens are growing too. Since those have all made it this far, Jason bought me 2 Fuchsias. So now Jason has a new project. He's going to build me a flower bed that I can have on the balcony. Stupid squirrel keeps knocking over my cups and pots.

Pray for You - Jaron and The Long Road to Love :: Official Video

If you feel this is aimed towards you, stop spying!

Giving this a try

http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/melissabshelton

Already?!

So today is our 1 year anniversary.  It's been a long time coming.

Plans for today?

Jason works.  Audrey's at Mom's.  Amelia and I are headed to MOG and Target.

Jason gets off work.  Jason, Amelia, and I are going out for sushi.

Audrey comes home.

We may try to go to see Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs at the park in Oconee.  If not that, I see a Redbox in our future.

I am so very lucky.

And, for those that know how Jason is with dates...  He actually remembered today all on his own.

Trying to improve Audrey's behavior...

We realize she's only 3.  But she's so far beyond a 3 year old.  She wants to act like an older kid, she will be treated like an older kid.


We've come up with a behavior chart and a job chart.  It's her responsibility to make sure it gets taken care of every day.  And she wants to make sure it gets taken care of.  She loves watching me draw smiley faces and check marks.


This is how we have it broken down:


Job Chart:
Daily: Mon-Fri
Pick up toys in bedroom-morning
Pick up toys in bedroom-evening
Pick up toys in living room-afternoon
Pick up toys in living room-evening
Put pillows, blankets, dolls on bed
Put books up
Put dirty clothes in hallway
Brush teeth
Line shoes up under bed
Eat breakfast with no whining-dishes put in sink
Eat lunch with no whining-dishes put in sink
Eat dinner with no whining-dishes put in sink
Play quietly while Mommy is on the phone
Behave at the store
Go to bed when told

Behavior Chart
Daily: Sun-Sat
Broken down by times:
7-8
9-10
11
12-1
2-3
4-5
6-7
8 (or until we get home)
8:30 (or in bed)
9 (or lights out)


For each she does on the job chart she gets a check mark or smiley face.  The ones she doesn't complete gets a sad face.  The ones that don't apply that day get marked through.  They don't count at the end of the week.

For being good on the behavior chart she gets a smiley face. If she hasn't been good she gets a sad face.

But if she gets a sad face or doesn't get to mark a job off we remind her that she still has more chances (either later in the day or the next day). That way she doesn't get super frustrated or mad at herself.

If she fills the chart up, on the weekend she gets a special treat. At the end of the day, she gets a M&M for every check/smiley face. At the end of the month she'll get a bigger treat if she's filled the chart up every week.

It's not necessarily filled, but at least mostly full. She is only 3 and will have her moments.

Counting down the days

So we've decided that we're taking a week and going to Louisiana.  A few days in Shreveport/Bossier, a day in Natchitoches, and then heading down to Independence/Baton Rouge.  Plans are right now to be out there in late June.  I'm so ready to be out there.

Jason asked what made Louisiana so great.  I guess it's because that's where I spent most of my "adult" life.  From 21 until almost 27.  That's an important chunk of life.  It's hard to explain.

Latest happenings - not all that exciting

I finally managed to get the bird feeder refilled.  So now we can sit and watch this huge, beautiful red cardinal.  In fact, he's sitting on my porch rail right now.  Now that I've figured out that these birds are bird food snobs and I've bought the right kind, we always have beautiful birds coming up to eat.  Eventually I'll get around to the hummingbird feeder.

I started rearranging the girls room again.  Started.  I at least got Audrey's bed moved.  Now she doesn't fall when she tries to see out the window.  And she got her toy box back with 1 bag of toys.  We'll see how long this lasts.  I'm still all for taking the television out.  We do monitor everything that gets watched (Playhouse Disney, Wonder Pets, Ni Hao Kai Lan, Disney movies, Barbie movies...), but I think it's too much of a distraction.  So I'm thinking of putting the fish tank where it is.  Poor Amelia just has a bed and a little drawer unit that stores diapers, socks, and little toys.  She shares a dresser with Audrey right now.  But if and when we move, that will change.  I'm thinking Closetmaid systems for their rooms.  Get rid of all unnecessary furniture.  And I'm thinking instead of toy boxes, getting the big bucket with rope handles.  Those would give a little more because a lid doesn't have to shut.

I'm trying to get motivated to get into everything and get rid of almost everything we have.  Or at least that's what it feels like.  If we move again, I don't want to have to move all of this.  I'm thinking YARD SALE.  And I already have a list in my head of everything that's going!  Dresser, bakers rack, kitchen stuff, toys...  I hate that everything's gotten out of hand.  But we've combined 2 households worth of stuff (well, 1 1/2--I had the most stuff) AND then added a baby.  It's exhausting.  Not everything has even been unpacked from when we moved here.  Stuff's stored behind the bookshelves in what should be the dining room.

First purchase to be made after the move -- A new bed.  I have Lysol-ed and Between the Sheets-ed this one until I'm scared to know how many chemicals are in it.  I'm half tempted to just toss it and we'll sleep on the floor or an air mattress...   I've been highly grossed out about it from the start.  But what can you do sometimes?  But on my list -- a new bed, new couch (so my parents can have the loveseat back once their basement empties out), storage systems for the girls rooms and living room, tv (we got Mom and Dad's old one and it's super dark sometimes -- CSI is very hard to watch, you can't see what's going on), and a dining room table.

I am so ready to sell the minivan.  It's been good to us.  It carried 1 4x6x16 and 2 4x6x12s.  (Jason loves it when I talk lumber.)  But it needs to go.  Every day I get more and more frustrated.  Sure, I have rights to drive one.  I carry 3 carseats, strollers, all that baby and kid stuff.  Not like people who run around with 1 kid with no plans of another one in the near future.  (I've never understood that.  But that's a rant for another day.)  But Jason has told me repeatedly that I'm a good driver and he trusts me to drive whatever I'd like.  It's just the funds for driving whatever I'd like.  I'm liking the Honda Element (but seems to only be a 4 seater which would put us right back to where we were and I should have just kept my Explorer Sport) or the Kia Soul.  I took the time to design the Soul I liked.  We'd be looking at over $20K.  And so that's on my wishful thinking list.  But I think they're both on the wishful thinking list.  They're only 4 cylinders.  I'd rather have 6.  Unless I go back to a manual.  Which could be possible...

Poor Amelia is on formula.  Poor thing is lactose intolerant.  Makes me sad.  But it's best for her to have food that she can have without her getting sick.  So we do what we have to do.  She's a much happier baby now.  Which is crazy cause she wasn't that fussy of a baby anyways.  But maybe she'll grow out of it.  Audrey did.  Audrey had to have the lactose free formula.  And now can eat milk, cheese, ice cream.

We have been working on Mother's Day gifts.  Each girl got 2 clay flower pots.  One for Donnie and one for my mom.  Audrey painted hers up all pretty.  For Amelia, the plan was paint her hands and feet and do prints.  Yeah.  Right.  They didn't turn out the way I wanted them to at all.  But apparently 10 week olds want nothing to do with that kind of stuff.  There's always next year.  But I put a sealer on them and I'm going to plant purple impatiens in them when it dries.  Then I figure Audrey can make cards.  And I'll do impressions of their hands.  I should get something for Audrey to send to Betty.  And I probably should get something for Jason's grandmother.  I'll worry about that later.

Jason has said we can go to Louisiana for a week.  So once I get the 4Runner sold I'll get on planning that.  I've already had about 5 hits on it and it's just been up for about 2 days.  I figure a few days in Shreveport/Bossier and then a day or 2 down in Independence/Baton Rouge.  I can't wait.  I've been so homesick for there lately.  But it's more of a homesickness with a want to be there with Jason kind of thing.  I can't imagine being somewhere without him.  (But that's something for another post.)

So our anniversary is next Saturday.  I can't believe it's already been a year.  I know I should try to do something, but he's working and I'm not sure when.  He's off the next day but that's Mother's Day and I'm sure we'll spend it visiting our mothers.  Or at least mine and Donnie.  (And I really like Donnie.  I have a mother-in-law that I like.  Who would have ever guessed.  Especially since she likes me.  Which is apparently unheard of.  But that's a whole situation I know better than to put on here.  So we'll just leave it at that.)  But the fact that we made it to a year and that it pisses so many people off that we even got married (or even divorced) is well worth it.  It's frustrating that so many people gave us 6 months.  But when Jason turns around and tells people that he's actually finally happy, that he has his house full of his girls, that he loves me more than he's loved anyone...  It's so worth it.  (Even if I would still like that necklace we looked at.  Hint, hint.  Nudge, nudge.  Silly boys.)

I've got to get in touch with UGA's College of Education.  Someone mentioned that they have programs for gifted kids.  Thank you Jason for bragging on her SO much to anyone you come in contact with.  So I need to get information on that and get Audrey over there and tested if that's the case.  It's frustrating that there's so much help and assistance for kids with disabilities but I'm having problems finding programs for Audrey who's on the opposite end of the spectrum.  (I realize that disabilities need to be worked with so don't take it as that.)  It's frustrating to have a 3 year old like Audrey who is advanced beyond what she could learn in a daycare setting (even the Montessori schools) and there not be programs for her.  This is why she's been staying home with me.  We can take her places and teach her things that will interest her far more than what I've seen at daycares.  Even just going to have lunch with Mom at her school I can introduce Audrey to things a daycare won't.  But she wants to be in a school setting.  She wants to learn constantly.  And I'm running out of things to hold her interest.  I just keep thinking though, please let Amelia be as smart if not smarter.  After having such high expectations with Audrey, I worry how hard it would be to not have a high functioning child. It is so great to have Jason's help with her though.  Neither of us would have come this far without his help.  When I can't think of things to teach her about, he jumps right in.  It's great to be married to someone who loves history, science, politics, and pretty much knows more useless information than pretty much anyone else I know (and that useless information is always useful to have access to).  It's just so funny to watch him brag on her.  He's so proud.

Vacation 2010

So if I sell the 4Runner, I get to plan a vacation.

1.  Louisiana
I could get to get my stuff out of storage.  We'd get to see Sue, Susan, Anita, and everyone else in Shreveport/Bossier.  We could go to Natchitoches, the gator park, and Monjuni's on Louisiana Avenue.  Of course, we would have to go home by way of Independence to see Scott and his family.  But at the same time, I'm thinking LA could just be a weekend turn and burn.  OR it doesn't have to count against us if I can arrange visitation for Audrey.  If that's the case, Justin pays her half of the travel expenses.  And he could watch her while we go do stuff.

2.  Charleston
I'd get to see Dale.  We'd get to eat some good seafood.  I'd like to go back out to Edisto, even for a day.  There's so much stuff that Jason's never seen.  Plantations, the battleship, The Citadel...  But that's not really a week's vacation.

3.  Savannah
I would have to go to The Lady and Sons.  I've never been to Savannah.  It looks beautiful.  In my mind I see us getting some great shots of the girls.  But at the same time, it kind of blends into Charleston.

4.  Florida
Not sure.  But I see BEACHES!!!  I wouldn't mind going back to Pensacola.  It could have been more fun, but we had a chance to see what fun we could have had.  I know we talk about going to Tampa.  I really liked the Clearwater/Dunedin area.  But no thanks.  A little weird going where your ex-husband's family lives and where your husband went on his honeymoon with his ex-wife.  I don't think he wants to revisit those memories.  Let's please leave the ex's down there.  What a waste of pretty beaches...  But I have no problem going elsewhere.  Too bad Amelia's not old enough to enjoy Disney.


My parents have a cruise they want us to take.  That would be fun but Jason would need a passport which would mean we'd need to track down a birth certificate for him.  Not difficult but time consuming.  And it would mean the girls would have to stay with my parents.  Audrey can fend for herself.  (And I already don't like or want her staying there with the present company.)  No way in HELL is Amelia staying there yet.

We've talked about Vegas.  But not really a place I'd want to take 2 small girls.

We've talked about Virginia.  I'm not sure how the girls would do on the drive up there.

Time for some randomness

I noticed there have been lots of hits on my blog lately.  Interesting...  If you're going to stalk, at least leave a thought or something.

Just because I drive a minivan does not mean that I do not know how to drive.  I do not drive one because I have to be in something large enough to protect me from personal stupidity.  I drive one because I need room for 3 carseats and baby paraphernalia.  But I think we did a little bit of overkill.  We didn't need as much room as we thought we might.  But it was a good deal and it replaced my 2 door, 4 seater.  Jason has said he trusts my driving enough to where he would let me drive anything I would like.

I'm thinking that next spring I'm going to look into buying a Kia Soul or a Honda Element.  I think those would work for us.

It's nice to know that my child has been properly disciplined.  It's a great thing to be able to take a 3 year old almost anywhere.

I'm back down to 125 lbs.  Bad thing is, I'm only down to size 6 jeans.  Time to work off some inches.  But apparently I get noticed.  At least Jason notices that people notice me.  Eh, who cares.  I have Jason and that's enough.

Lawn Mower For Sale - $150

Troy Bilt Push Mower
21" cutting deck
Briggs & Stratton 675 Series
190 cc
Mulching capable
Dual-lever height adjustment
Fully foldable with deluxe bail
Pull start
TriAction Cutting System: symmetrical steel deck, S-blade, rake guard

Used once to cut a 5' strip of grass to test.

Right now it's being kept at my in-law's in Dacula.

A little bit of bragging

It's coming up on one year of being married.  This is such a great feeling.  I randomly have to stop and remind myself that:

Yes.  I did win.

Crazy thing happened yesterday.  For some weird reason I decided to go through my old MySpace messages.  (After a day long conversation the day before with someone who used to be totally against me until they took the time to meet me.)  I found messages between us from when I was living in Louisiana.  And you know, I'd be more than happy to send them to anyone who still blames me for causing the divorce.  Funny, I'd forgotten that they specifically said even WAY back then that nothing that was to come was remotely my fault.  With examples given.  Is it appropriate to, at 29, say "NEENER NEENER NEENER!"?

I think that if I knew then what I know now, I might have done a few things differently.  But I'm highly satisfied at how things turned out.

As I was told the other day:

"Regardless of the road that was taken to get here, the fact remains that I love being married to you and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.  The past is the past, what matters is the future we'll have together with our family.  I love you like the birds love the wind.  Like the fish love the water, like the oreos love the milk."

I think that pretty much sums it up.  

But that is kind of funny that Oreos were mentioned.  Funny story about frying Oreos and a summertime power outage.  Oh, the memories.  Should have just said "to hell with it all" back then.  Cut out so much crap and we could have just moved on with life.  At least he then had a chance to learn how impatient I really am.

It will be one year married on May 8.  It will be three years since he found me again at the end of May.  It will be three years since I moved home on July 1.  It will be three years together mid-July.  I think that's more than enough time for people to get over it and move on with life.

And for what it's worth...  I didn't make it this far easily.  Just check with GCPD.  I've had to file reports for death threats being made towards me.  I had to have people physically removed from my place of business.  Phone numbers had to be changed.  Not that it justifies anything by any means.  But just so you know...

Just a reminder these days

We've had quite a few experiences in life lately that seem to remind us:

It's not where you live, what you live in, what you drive, the clothes you wear, the amount of money in the bank... It's who you choose share your life with.

And several times we've made the wrong decision on who to be with. But the right decision was finally made. And we're happy.

I know what it's like to feel satisfied in life.

Sure, I live in a 2 bedroom apartment. (Which is possibly changing.)  I drive a used minivan. (It's a necessitiy for 3 car seats.)  I don't get new clothes every time I want them. (I got to buy new jeans after I had Amelia out of necessity.)  We don't have the funds to do everything we want when we want to do them.  (We've already had to delay quite a few plans already this year.)

But we're happy. Life is great.

Some of my favorite products

Biore Blemish Fighting Ice Cleanser

Huggies Pure and Natural

Lansinoh Breastmilk Storage Bags

Evenflo Lanolin Nursing Pads

Purex Complete 3-in-1 Laundry Sheets

Awww!

Today is Amelia's 1 month birthday. Already?!

Random vent...

People never cease to amaze me. Wow. What a weekend. Good and bad and... just different.

16 Days Old

Amelia is now 16 days old.

Breastfeeding and pumping is going great. We haven't had to supplement any formula in over a week. And it helped that we were using the little ready to feed bottles when we did the formula. If it wasn't open, we weren't pressured to use it before it wasted.

She's steadily gaining weight. I don't know of an exact amount, but you can definitely tell. She's still a little doll though.

I'm down to 134. I started out at 125. My goal is 130. But this is definitely one of the perks of breastfeeding over formula.

I did go buy some regular jeans the other day since my old ones (sizes 2 and 4) are still a bit snug. I had to break down and get a size 8 in the Dreamer style. But they fit great and Jason is happy with how I look.

Jason has been a great support and help through all of this. I'm absolutely amazed at the difference between experiences. And he's just so cute with Amelia. He's great with Audrey. But you can tell that Amelia belongs to him. He's got his girls now.

We're home!!

So we made it home from the hospital yesterday afternoon.

I will have to say that we were still pretty apprehensive about using ARMC. My opinions on that place, or at least the 3rd floor, have totally changed.

Hopefully tomorrow I can take the time to sit down and write about it.

Between the nurses and staff and my midwife it makes me almost sad that we won't be having more kids. Almost.

37 weeks

So...

Down 2 1/2 lbs.

My acid reflux causing my vomiting has now caused me to have a "acid burned" throat and sinuses. Yippee. This sucks. So they changed me to Prilosec OTC AND Zantac AND Tums.

I am now at 3 cm and "stretchy" and 50% effaced. Because of this, she says I really could go this week and it would be fine.

I think they're about to give up on trying to measure me. Once again, I'm measuring behind. She measured me twice and kept getting 33 weeks. But no concern since they did the growth ultrasound last week and everything looks great.

So now I'm walking constantly while Jason's at work and spending lots of time bouncing on my exercise ball. Anything to get things going.

But I do highly recommend my midwife. She's taken me on as a patient over my regular OB. And that's fine with me. So if anyone is looking for one, I recommend Meredith Turner at Women's Healthcare Associates.

36 weeks, 3 days

...and I am so done.

Everything is finally catching up to me and absolutely wearing me out.

Saturday my mom hosted a shower for Amelia. And while it was lots of fun, it was so exhausting. I'm not really a center of attention kind of person. But it was so stressful. I show up to find out my parents are baby-sitting. Again. Definitely a cause for a freak out. As if my mom didn't have enough to worry about. Fortunately that was shortly taken care of. But all in all, with only a few exceptions, it was a very good party and I hope everyone had a good time. And everything received is much appreciated.

Monday we had my 36 week appointment. This time I was measuring about 32 weeks. So I got to hang out for about 30 minutes and they fit me in for a growth ultrasound. According to the ultrasound everything looks right on track. And found out that her head is EVEN lower this week. But sadly, I'm up to 155 lbs. My nurse was amazing. She reassured me that if I'm this upset over gaining weight then I already have my motivation to get it back off. And since I was able to drop so much with Audrey that my body should remember that and it shouldn't be that hard this time. I just feel gross. This is the most I've ever weighed. I'm ready to be back to 125. I'll settle for 130 as long as my jeans fit. We did find out that Jason has put on a little weight too. But at least it's nothing like he put on with Russell. And nowhere near what I've put on. (I'd put a lock on the pantry and fridge if that was the case.) But when they were doing my ultrasound, there was a student in there. So the tech played around a bit more than just doing measurements and even pulled out the 4D. Sadly, Jason had taken Audrey to the car so he wasn't in there cause they pulled me back faster than we'd expected. But they did give me some really cute pictures. She was opening and closing her eyes, sticking her tongue out at us... And they are pretty certain she'll be good sized when she's born.

Yesterday I just felt like absolute crap. Audrey's sick. (As Jason put it, she got the daycare bug from Russell. Nice. At least when he comes over sick every time I know he'll be going home. I don't need his sickness hanging around here. Lord knows I can't get sick. And it WON'T be an okay situation when the baby gets here. I will NOT have a sick baby cause someone that doesn't even live in my house goes to daycare and is constantly sick.) But I was dealing with cramping, back cramps, stiff legs, just not feeling myself at all. Last night I'm not sure if I got any sleep at all. I was in and out of bed all night. Headaches, throwing up, hurting...

So today I'm nibbling toast and trying to get down water and Powerade. I'm feeling pretty dehydrated. I can't go into the doctor's office with a sick kid. And I'm afraid if I call I'll be sent to L&D, where I can't go with a sick kid. So hopefully I can get better before Jason gets home. And if I'm not better when he gets home, we'll call and see what they say. By then, Mom will be off work and can come up and hang out with Audrey.

All in all, I'm starting to have panic attacks over this. I'm ready to be done. At 36 weeks, 3 days I was admitted to the hospital to have Audrey at 36 weeks, 4 days. I don't feel like Amelia is as "done" as Audrey was. But I certainly am. I'm going to ask Monday about induction. The amount of stress I'm putting on my body can't be doing either of us any good.

And the name is...

Amelia Reid Shelton

35 Week Appointment

Holy CRAP!!!

So...

I've gained a total of 29.5 lbs fully dressed. More weight than I was hoping for but it'll come off. One way or another. And it's not like it's spread out. It seems to all be belly. And my thighs are slightly bigger. Guess I'll be doing some major walking.

I'm measuring right where I need to be again.

But after her feeling around and being a highly trained midwife, she is pretty sure this is another big baby.

And I was at at least 2 cm dialated, she didn't want to spend too much time and make me even more uncomfortable, and at 50% effacement. And she was able to feel the head. So no wonder I'm highly uncomfortable...

We scheduled my next 4 appointments and didn't even bother for one for my due date. They only scheduled the one for 39 weeks because they did out of just in case. But they're not even really expecting to see me then.

So major excitement in the Shelton house these days.

Domesticated?

Disclaimer: I'm still anti-minivan, pro-SUV.

I consider it wasteful and stupid to have a minivan for one child without having another one coming or even the remote chance of having another one anytime soon. Same for having a large SUV.

**Except in cases such as my parents. They have a full size Tahoe. BUT they use it for pulling their large camper. And they also have a grandchild, another on the way, and 2 step-grandchildren. It also helps that we'll all (me, Jason, Audrey, and them) pile in and go places.**

I just realized that I'll have 2 booster seats, an infant seat, a double stroller, and a travel-system stroller. And to go along with all that, my double monitor DVD player, diaper bag, Audrey's bag of spare clothes, jackets, toys, and who knows what else is back there.

I'm thinking that by the time Amelia is 3 and needs a booster seat, we should at least be down to 2 backless boosters and her backed booster. And then I can get back to a SUV or truck.

34 weeks, 1 day

We have got to be getting close.

We had our class this past weekend at the hospital. I feel a little better about things now. It was nice that it was a class for 2nd time parents. And it was a super small class (just us and another couple) so she was able to focus even more on our concerns. I think even Jason picked up a few things from it.

What kind of worries me, but it may be a good thing, is that she was telling us that typically your labor for the second one can go much faster. Crap. Start to finish with Audrey was about 5 hours.

Fortunately, I'm not really getting pro-epidural vibes from Jason. I think he trusts me enough to know that if I need something, I'll ask for it. But I think I'm still leaning towards just the anxiety IV meds again. Nothing against epidurals (I'd love one for this sciatica!), but they're just not for me.

ARMC has showers and birthing balls and wireless monitoring. So plans are to take full advantage of that. We actually got to try out the balls in our class. I think this weekend we're going to actually get me an exercise ball for at home. It definitely took some of the pressure off my back. And I figure since I have to take a shower or bath every night to try to get my back to relax enough to attempt sleep, using the showers there may be a definite perk.

I figure this weekend I'll get to work on putting together my hospital bag and get it ready to in the car. So far, no signs of pre-e but I don't want to take any chances of not being prepared. I figure the carseat and stroller are put together and parked next to the baby bed. So even if it's not in the van when we end up at the hospital, Jason or my mother can run over here and pick it up.

There is a shower happening at Mom's on the 6th. Hopefully the craziness will be kept to a minimum.

Holy freakin' sciatica. I just hope this means that she's a big baby like Audrey. I'm not very big so there's no real place for her to be and wiggle and all that good stuff. I'm hoping this just means she's cramped and sitting on my nerve. But it's getting so bad that I can't sleep (so Jason can't sleep), I can't walk, I can't bend. Driving kills it. If I can make it to Monday, I'll ask at the doctor's. But I do have to say that Jason is really being super sweet and nice about it. He gets my citrus aromatherapy lotion and rubs my back for such a long time at night. And even better on that note: he says to pack my Hot Hearts in my hospital bag so that he can use them on my back there. ...sigh... I love my Jason.

So much done, so much to do

So this weekend was our "off weekend."

Saturday: Babies R Us and Borders
Travel System
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3232437
I saved 20% on it and Jason had it put together in probably less than 10 minutes.

Little Remedies Kit
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3029064
I got this for half off. I love this because I used all of this stuff with Audrey so it's nice to have it all in one kit and definitely at that price. (The Gripe Water, Saline Spray, and Gas Drops alone are well worth it!!)

Huggies Lavender Lotion
I got the big bottle for something like $.50. Yea for clearance and coupons.

Borders at MOG is closing. I got 4 baby/board books. They were marked down to $2.99 and then 60% off of that.


Sunday: Target
Baby Onesie Vintage/Retro Shirts
Queen, Run DMC, Pink Floyd, and Star Wars. I don't remember the price, but they were between $3.50 and $4. We need smaller sizes in the Pink Floyd and Star Wars ones... but it's a good start.

Organic Socks
...that look like Converse High Tops. Love them. 4 pairs for something like $4.50.


Today: Target
Lap Pads
3 pad packs for $1.75-ish. I got 2 packs, one green, one pink. I remember using these for so much with Audrey.


And today I got us registered for our Special Delivery Refresher class. Well, we're registered. And now our flex spending card is not working for us with this. Frustrating. But the education woman said they'll bill us and they have a note in our file that we're trying to get our card to work but it's just not... And it's giving them a code they've never seen before. So now I get to call the flex spending people and get Jason to talk with HR tomorrow about this. This kind of stuff is why we signed up for it!!! Now it needs to work!!!

Today's visit

So today I am 32 weeks, 4 days.

I'm measuring about a week and a half ahead (not quite 2 weeks). Even though I still look very small. I'm so tired of having to argue people that I'm this far along. (But holy crap! I just realized I'm in my 8th month!)

I've only gained 24 lbs. fully dressed. So that's not bad.

My blood pressure keeps dropping. With Audrey it kept going up.

My sugars are dropping. He said more protein and fats to help process the carbs.

But as a whole, everything is looking great!

And hopefully I can get our travel system before the 18th. (Yea for Babies R Us 20% coupons!!)

So I guess I'm the mean mommy

Just because she's 3 does not mean she should not have rules to follow.

I fully expect these things out of my child:

*I expect her to be polite and use her manners. That is a direct reflection of how Jason and I raise her. There is no reason for her to not say please, thank you, yes/no ma'am/sir, chew with her mouth closed, share some of her toys (I don't expect her to share everything because some stuff is extra special to her and needs to be hers alone), things like that.

*I expect her to pick up and take care of her toys. She has been responsible for helping take care of her toys since before she was 1. There is nothing wrong with that. If I am going to spend my money (or anyone is going to spend their money) on toys and books and fun stuff for her, she needs to be responsible for these things. I hope it makes her appreciate her stuff more. So yes, she's 3 and she has chores and if the chores don't get done there are consequences and rewards (we'll spend a little more time coloring, we'll read an extra book randomly, if we have a good week she may get a little treat from the Target dollar section) if they do get done. But if she can make the mess, she can clean it up.
Example: She has been asked to pick up her room. Easy. Nicely put the toys back into the toy box. She refuses and so I go in to help her and end up falling over her toys. What is the consequence? Her toy box gets locked up indefinitely.

*I expect to be able to take her out into public and not deal with a tantrum. She has been raised better than to be one of "those" kids. Sure, every kid has a bad day. And when we have ours I have been known to take my buggy to customer service, apologize, and get in the car and go straight home. I will not tolerate a tantrum over not getting a toy or a treat in the store. And it irks me when I see other people's kids doing that... and the parents giving in just to get them to quiet down. When Audrey thinks about starting up I remind her that she is a big girl and needs to set a good example for all the little kids around.

*I expect her to be the big girl. She's going to be the big sister in a matter of weeks. She walked and talked early. She potty trained early and fast. She's so smart. I need her to be able to transfer that over into helping me out with herself. But I know I need to stop sometimes and remind myself that even if she can carry on adult conversations, she's still just 3.


And at least I'm fortunate enough to have a great husband who backs me and helps to play enforcer in all of this. (Even if he is the pushover sometimes...) I'm not sure what I would do in this without him.

My New Year's Goals

Some of these are so simple that it hurts to admit to them.

*Work more often with Audrey on her school work. (She loves it so why not.)

*Drink more water. (Still have to figure this out. Tap water here looks toxic.)

*Decide on school for me. (Not finishing up in education or legal. Time for something new.)

*Cook a real dinner at least 5 nights a week. (Real=healthy, not thrown together last minute, and eaten together. Even if it is a Crock Pot meal now and then.)

*Get us all onto a schedule that we can function better on. (Cleaning, sleeping, waking, eating.)

*Declutter more and more of the house. (Obvious...)

*Get back down to a size 2. (I'll settle for a size 4. I've only gained about 20 lbs--22 fully dressed--so it shouldn't be very hard. And unless I have a freakish weight gain in the next few weeks, things should be fine.)

*Walk more often. (Thanks to Cathy I have a double stroller and no excuses when it warms up. I can use the excuse of no double jogging stroller as an excuse to not run...)

*Find a part-time job. (Enough to bring in some extra money and get me out of the house.)

*Avoid formula as long as possible with Amelia. (Made it almost 3 months with Audrey.)

*Catch up on my reading. (Real books.)

*Make it to Book Club meetings. (I've really slacked in this. I *will* find a baby-sitter. Somehow.)

*Join the Y as soon as Amelia is born. (Will help get me back to a size 2, help get us both back into shape, and give Audrey some sort of activities of her own. And with Lowe's, we get a discount.)

*Make a point to go out on dates with Jason or even just nights in alone. (Meaning, no kids.)

*Have more patience. (I'm definitely not known for my patience.)

*Listen to more music. (Now that I have my cool new iPod speaker thingie and access to iTunes, there is no excuse. May not sound like a big deal, but music in the background is much better than the tv on in the background. The tv is too distracting.)

*More healthy snacks, less junk food. (I rarely bring in junk food. But when I do, we have no self-control. More fruit and veggies, healthy crackers, peanut butter... Less cookies, brownies, ice cream...)


I'm sure there are more. But my mind is shot today.